Really now Russia, get it together June 17, 2007
Posted by degenerateleftist in Politics.add a comment
I’d thought things were improving in Russia (maybe they are, but that just makes me shit my pants in fear at the mere thought of how bad things were before they got better). Putin is taking the classic Russian rough-road to economic growth, and can be kinda proud of the advancements made under his rule. (All the nukes in the world still ought to be launched at Russia, followed by chemical attacks and then immediately by guys with flamethrowers in chemical suits who burn people even if they’re clearly on their side just because their orders are that damn rigid.*)
Not improving in the sense that anyone would want to live there, but in that economic improvement looks like it could overtake despotic governance in the foreseeable future and Russia could move up to something like 17th Century Russia or even something as nice as say Australia as depicted in the Mad Max films. You know, something where if you read a story about a Russian guy who severed his own penis to make alcohol out of it and died of alcohol poisoning you’d be shocked, rather than just muttering “when will they learn” and moving on.
Apparently I was wrong though.
So, in the spirit of giving and goodness and all those things you associate with me, I’m not going to just move on after reading this latest story, about how 43% of deaths amongst working age Russians are caused by drinking things like cologne, or just going batshit insane with the amount of regular, “drinkable” alcohol they consume. I’m going to shove this story in the face of my 3.5 million/day readership, and ask that next time they see one of their Russian friends, they take them aside and have a talk with them about the dangers of drinking perfume, or at the very least go about their house putting “do not drink” labels on all the non-drinkable alcohol you can find.** (Make sure you really press the point though, since all Russians*** are born liars and will never tell you the truth. So even if they promise they’ve never drunk this stuff, that’s just all the more reason to worry that they have.)
I apologize because I had some funny pictures and funny taglines to put with them alongside this article but I’m posting from scribefire rather than inside wordpress, so putting pics up would border on being a pain. So here’s just the taglines:
“Yeltsin, aged 22″
“How Russians see themselves”
“How we see Russians”
“A Russian she-bear with her drunk brood, drunk”
“Sexy in Russia”
“Russian DNA has no gene for “goodness”"
*-Sorry, I keep dreaming about 28 Weeks Later. Especially about how France gets it next time.
**-Remember that they’ll likely be hiding some of it in places like the back of the toilet, or in <insert joke about characteristic Russian hiding places here>.
***-Recent studies suggest that people with even so little as 1/1024 parts Russian blood in them are incapable of telling the truth or having a job. At the 1/512 level they of course become shape-shifting vampires, also incapable of telling the truth, but somewhat employable under the right conditions.
Whales > Nepalese June 9, 2007
Posted by degenerateleftist in Stupid.add a comment
I don’t want to blog. But look at this article.
It’s about the ”axis of decency”. Norway doesn’t make the list because it allows whale hunting. Bhutan does despite kicking the Nepalese minority out into refugee camps. Costa Rica gets points for having no army, with the police only described as ”well equipped”, rather than ”wildy deathsquadish”.
I could go on but I want to go to sleep instead. Be sure to check out the evilness rating system at the end of the article. If you kill all your own citizens but don’t support terrorism or invade other countries, your maximum score is 3/10. The author manages to give Cuba only a 1.5. Though it should be noted that the Nazis only pulled off a 6/10 (2 for treatment of own people – or even 1, since I assume their social programs and environmental policies will mean a lot to this jackass, and their Holocaust much less. 3 for invading other countries. 0 For fomenting terrorism abroad, or maybe a 1 there if he wants to count some activities taking place in countries that weren’t really “abroad”. Another bonus point for the cult of personality.)
Ok, sleep.
Sometimes people make a war, don’t know what it’s for (business) June 7, 2007
Posted by degenerateleftist in Politics, Video.2 comments
My pickup skills June 3, 2007
Posted by degenerateleftist in HOWTO, My Life.2 comments
I was just reading this article on Orac about jackasses wearing scrubs to a bar in order to pick up, and I was reminded of my scrubs experience.
Back in high school a friend of mine and I bought scrubs from a second hand shop, mostly because I figured
there had to be money in appearing to be a docotor somewhere. That night, wearing our scrubs, we sat in a coffee shop talking about all number of things. Whithout me noticing, four girls sat down at the table beside us, and I assume noticing we were wearing scrubs, asked us what we were up to tonight. My friend acted too slowly to stop me, and I almost feel bad about it for him, but i really
quickly answered ”trying to have a fucking conversation”. It had the desired effect and allowed us to
get back to our conversation, though my friend seemed to be in shock for the rest of the night.
My pickup skills have not improved a whit since that time.
4/09, 2007 June 2, 2007
Posted by degenerateleftist in Stupid, Video.2 comments
This is why I don’t use public washrooms.*
Anyway, this is for Kyle:
*-So that I don’t get AIDS from a toilet seat and die, thus missing out on more shit to laugh at by stupids.
Giant Centipedes June 2, 2007
Posted by degenerateleftist in Bio, Video.3 comments
People have been unwilling to belive me that these things exist.
So here:
here’s one with a centipede-view-cam:
And finally, a Centipede fighting a snake.
I am Tinman May 30, 2007
Posted by degenerateleftist in My Life, Uncategorized.1 comment so far
Last night I dreamt I could turn anything I wanted into tin. It was mildly profitable, since I could sell the tin at junk yards. Eventually I lost it all when i was shot trying to steal someone’s bathtub.
In other news, my mouth still really hurts after getting three teeth pulled and a root canal. And my insides hurt afetr trying to eat enough pasta that i never have to eat again. But in the middle of that sentence I ran to the washroom and puked. Guess that didn’t work. I hate blogs.
Dawkins at TED May 26, 2007
Posted by degenerateleftist in Politics, Video.add a comment
A friend of mine clued me into this TED thing, which I haven’t the energy to explain. But guess what? I have the energy to post a link.
Here’s Dawkins at TED. Give it a whirl.
That Lion/Buffalo/Croc fight video May 25, 2007
Posted by degenerateleftist in Video.1 comment so far
Totally fake. The Buffalos are clearly animatronic.
An atheism quiz, and no energy to actually write anything May 25, 2007
Posted by degenerateleftist in My Life.add a comment
You scored as Scientific Atheist, These guys rule. I’m not one of them myself, although I play one online. They know the rules of debate, the Laws of Thermodynamics, and can explain evolution in fifty words or less. More concerned with how things ARE than how they should be, these are the people who will bring us into the future.
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