I was raised in a ditch by ditch-snakes. I think porn smells like boiling Oktoberfest Sausages which is only one of the many reasons I’ve never been interested in it outside of laughing at it at parties. I’m embarrassed by almost the entirety of the rest of the Left. I think only doomed fall and that my enemies were born to die at my hand. I think the Irish will eventually be determined through genetic testing to be demons. Having been a student of both Latin and history I despise the Romance languages and the self-hatred they represent. I am easily bought as a friend. My poker face consists of me giggling so hard I start crying, no matter what hand I’m holding. My poker skills are non-existent.

My mouth is a homelessmanish wreckage of broken teeth. I listen to songs on repeat all day. I hate the eastborn Gentrification going on in Parkdale, and feel it will push me into Roncesvalles, where I will likely die an unspeakable death. I am a Monarchist and a militarist. I also like coffee.

My blog is about playing card tricks.

How can you give me money?

Follow this link.