For the most part, I hate Nazi documentaries.

The ones I’m thinking of, the ones that seem to be mass produced, are the ones which focus on the supposed Nazi technological superiority, or the SS’s “elite” fighting skills, or the constant, constant bullshit about how “if Hitler hadn’t made this one mistake, the Nazis would have won”… or ones that latch onto this or that character in the Nazis and proclaim them a genius of some sort* because, oh my god, Hitler figured out that telling a depressed nation that they were still great would go over well, or that Goering was so smart because he realized that wait, if only Nazi planes were somehow faster than allied planes, then maybe, just maybe, they’d have an advantage. Oh, brilliant…..

And there are plenty more documentaries that aren’t exactly like the ones I’ve semi-described, but which have the same sort of feel. The Nazi-porn feel. Documentaries for people who think the Nazis were kinda cool, even if they still admit they were horrible.  Or kinda horrible.  Or you know, they maybe just took some things too far.   But they sure had some interesting ideas.  And wow, they really knew how to dress.  And maybe they had a point…..  You know, those people.

This documentary isn’t one of those.

This documentary is about home movies made by Eva Braun. It’s totally inane (but not in that “banality of evil” type way). It’s Hitler dancing, it’s a naked Eva doing gymnastics (I’ve now seen, blurry though it was, where Hitler’s penis liked to go), it’s Hitler being pissed off with Goering because he eats meat, it’s the rest of the team saying ridiculous thing after ridiculous thing (my favourite is maybe Speers saying “interesting angles”, it appealing to my love of people being depicted as unidimensional and monomaniacal; or maybe my favourite is Hitler whining about how he hates to have to tear up even one beloved tree.)

It’s totally astounding.

I also can’t really believe they’re saying what they’re supposed to be saying. it reminds me of that wildlife documentary about Dragons I watched a year or two ago. It seems like it must be a hoax. Part of that is because it very well could be. These films were shot without sound, and so an “advanced lip-reading computer” has been used to “reconstruct” what Hitler et al were saying. And then voice actors were used to reproduce it to sound like Hitler actually did in conversation.** So everything they said could be fake, just a hoax. But more than that, I find it hoaxish because of the MST3000′ishness of what they’re saying. Everyone seems to be bent on demonstrating the sillier, more (supposedly) incongruous aspects of their personality that we’ve become aware of after years of hard-core biographical study. And also, Hitler is way too flirty. And kind of sleazy.***

But it’s not really over the top or anything, and is probably true. I just feel wary. I have trouble believing things like this.

Anyway, the film is 46 minutes. So probably just bookmark this page and watch it later. But really, give it a try. The first maybe half or so isn’t particularly groundbreaking. But it’s worth watching as it provides some context to the value of these otherwise trivial tapes.

*-Though when they do it to Goebbels I’d actually agree, and not for his “use of lighting” or some such crap.

**-Actually, this was the most astounding part of the film, the moment where I knew I had to post it. There’s apparently only one recording of Hitler speaking privately, conversationally. They play a chunk of it. Again, astounding is the word I want to use. I might write a blog post later about why it was astounding to me. but now’s not really the time.

***-About the only positive thing I think I could have said about Hitler before watching this documentary was that he wasn’t a horny sleazebag (horny sleazebag also happens to be the worst thing I can consider anyone).  That was all blown away when Hitler walked up smiling to the scantily clad, giggling women on his balcony and said “hey ladies”.  Now Hitler has been knocked down a notch to the level of “horny sleazebag” from the second lowest rating for a human being, “true-believer totalitarian”.  Wow.